Annihilating Negative Thoughts About Others PT. 2

Okay. Time for another story.


A few months ago I was on social media. I was seeing the successes of a friend and realized that I was having a really negative cycle after every time I saw this particular persons’ posts. Where I had a ton of negative self talk about what this person was and all the things I was not.

I don’t get stuck with social media self-pity very often. For me, it’s not about beautiful houses, fashion, or perfection in motherhood—but about missed performance opportunities—a discovery I only recently made when looking at this post. And it hit me like a ton of bricks.

So, for a couple weeks I just tried to avoid social media. But it didn’t fix the pit in my stomach any time these posts showed up. I hated feeling no control over my emotions about this person that I love dearly, but was making me feel inadequate and pick myself apart. It wasn’t their problem. It was mine.

Comparison is the freaking WORST. And does absolutely nothing for achieving your goals. In fact, it’s quite opposite. It will paralyze you. Unfortunately, comparison is also something we deal with every day as performers. And that’s ok. It’s natural. We need to know how to tackle these thoughts when they happen. We can tell our brains what to do with these thoughts and take all the power out of them with these steps:

  1. Single out the individual that stirs up these feelings. And sort out the root thought about this person.

  2. Write down the thought and cross it out-to communicate to the brain that it’s not true and to disregard it. It will seem crazy to see the actual thought formulate.

  3. Find one positive thought about the individual.

  4. Name one positive thought about yourself.

We don’t have time for these thoughts, clouding our minds and stunting our progress. Enough! We don’t need to be bogged down, anymore. We need to support our fellow actors and know that we are original. No one can be us and we cannot be anyone else. Be happy for your friends and know that you are doing or are in pursuit of beautiful and worthy things that you should throw your heart into. Repeat these steps for as many times as you need until you are unstoppable and living to your fullest potential. Deallll??!

Annihilating Negative Thoughts Pt. 1

SO, I’m a car singer. It’s always been my place to experiment and warm up and let go. A couple weeks ago I was singing away and I hit a note weird and had this nasty thought about my voice and stopped singing. And to top it off, my brain finished the thought with, “I bet everyone things that about your voice and just doesn’t tell you.” WHAT FOUL WORDS!

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I’ve been trying to be more mindful about my thoughts lately. And honestly, I don’t even think I would have picked up on this thought normally. It just so casually slipped out. Which was freaky, because it shows me just how normalized these thoughts are in my brain. How sick is that?

And then I thought to myself, “so, what IF everyone thought that? IF. Does that thought serve me? Does it help me sing better?” Absolutely not.

SO! I hit rewind on the song, said a few positive things to myself, and tried the note again. Nailed it. It was literally a 10 second thought reset that changed the rest of my day and stopped more long-lasting negative thoughts in their tracks.

Can you imagine the damage that negative thoughts like these could do as they play on repeat over and over again as you try a similar note? You will create your own mental blocks like, “well, I just can’t belt a D.” or “Oh, I am a terrible dancer.” Your brain will believe you, I promise.

Get rid of these thoughts. Do they serve you? Do they make you better? No? Then switch it up. Tell your brain a different story and you will get different results. So, how do you start resetting these thoughts?

  1. Identify them. This is the trickiest part. I bet you are so accustomed to being your own worst enemy. And it makes you comfortable. Find them.

  2. Say them outloud. You will be so surprised at how biting and petty your own mind can be-it will sound ridiculous. Or better yet, write them down. Cross the thought out. This will communicate to your brain that it is false and to disregard the thought.

  3. Replace the thought with something positive about yourself.

  4. Try, try again. Get back out there and prove to your brain that it’s wrong.

I challenge you to find just one negative thought you can reset today. Get out there, Foxy People!